No, I Will Not Fix Your Business Model

by Adrienne Doss on May 26, 2009

It’s no secret these days that internet marketing can do wonders for your online business. A well-executed online marketing strategy can rescue your website from the depths of mediocrity and set you on the path to fame and fortune.

But SEO can’t save you from yourself.

Black t-shirt that says: No, I will not fix your business model.A poorly thought-out business model, reckless management and uninspired employees will ruin your business, regardless of whether you’re an online store or a traditional brick-and-mortar shop.

If any of the following 7 statements apply to you, buy some cruise wear … because you’re about to take an extended voyage on the S.S. Failboat.



1. You believe that your customers use the web just like you do.

This is a common fallacy that many small business owners fall victim to. You think you’re the Average Joe, but the truth is that there is no Average Joe. The truth is in your analytics data and your usability test results. And honestly, how many Average Joes do you know that are running online businesses? Don’t sell yourself short.

2. You charge more than your competitors without providing any added value.

Customers are getting more and more savvy about comparison shopping online. If your pricing is higher than your competitors, you’d better have a damn good reason for it (commonly referred to as a Unique Selling Proposition). It boils down to one simple question: Why should anyone choose you instead of your competitors?

3. You make decisions on gut instinct because it’s easier than analyzing data.

Look, I’m not really a big fan of math. (Unless I’m counting dolla bills, yo!) But there’s just no getting around it — website analytics data is critical to making sound business decisions. Buckle down and get familiar with your website’s vital statistics. There are so many excellent resources online and offline that can help you make sense of the data.

Barbie doll says math is hard

4. You fail to invest the time, money and manpower your website needs to succeed.

Despite what you may have heard from the “make money online” guys, long-term online success is hard work. Don’t cheap out on your consultants and employees, and make sure they have the tools and time they need to do their best work. If you want to pay $1.00 for some guy in Pakistan to regurgitate bland 500-word blog posts, prepare to get exactly what you paid for.

5. You change your mind constantly and don’t give ideas a chance to mature.

Organic rankings generally take some time and patience to achieve. Paid marketing can mature through testing and refinement. If you’re expecting top results by next Tuesday, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. You should be confident enough in your strategy to allow several months to pass before abruptly switching course. If you’re not confident in your strategy, why are you doing it?

6. You ignore customer complaints until they report you to The Consumerist.

My job is to send you highly targeted leads and maximize your online sales. What you do with those leads and sales is largely out of my hands. I can’t force your sales reps to return phone calls and respond to emails. I can’t make your products ship faster. I might be able to help you clean up the negative reviews about your company online, but wouldn’t you rather I didn’t?

Office guy on phone with Carebears?

7. You spend all your profit on yourself instead of your business growth.

Hindsight is a bitch, ain’t it? A year ago you were jetting off on exotic vacations and tooling around in your shiny sports car. Now you’re checking the bank account several times a day, laying off employees, cutting budgets and wondering how soon it’s all going to fall apart. If this isn’t happening to you — yet — get a grip on your finances now.

Bonus points!

8. You make business decisions while drunk at a strip club.

This is not about morality. I lived happily in Nevada for 10 years, where prostitution is legal, grocery stores have slot machines and the bars stay open until dawn. But I can tell you from personal first-hand experience that a night at the strip club never ends with stellar decision-making. (Really. Never.)

Marquee for zombie strippers

What did I miss? Leave a comment!

T-shirt template courtesy Angel A. Acevedo.
T-shirt slogan inspired by Think Geek.
Barbie photo by Spigoo.
Care Bears guy photo by star5112.
Zombie photo by ellie

Thanks for sharing!
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Neostead May 28, 2009 at 4:12 pm

9. You blame your SEO when your business isn’t an immediate success, even if you practice 1-8.

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Adrienne Doss May 28, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Nice one!

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SEO Firm India May 29, 2009 at 7:00 am

10. You start it without looking at the competition and knowing basic rules to survive!

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