photo credit: cortnie dee.

For someone who’s not very social offline, social media doesn’t exactly come naturally.

I’m a little neurotic, to be honest. Should I add this person? What if they don’t add me back? Would that be awkward? (And didn’t she blog something last week about “friend whores?”)

Each social media channel has its own subtleties and nuances, which complicates things even more. People tend to be more private on Facebook than on MySpace. Sphinn users engage in heated but usually civil debate; Digg users have no qualms about insulting you, your mother or your genitalia. Or your mother’s genitalia.

StumbleUpon invites controversy by letting you review other members of the community. (I was labeled a “shitbag spammer” by an SEO-hater there. Good times!) You know things have gotten out of control when violent, hostile and vulgar are options in a drop-down list. You know, to save you the time and energy of coming up with your own insults.

On Twitter, the ratio of people you follow vs. people who follow you is a big deal. The web celebrities only follow a handful of people. Or they just follow everyone, and you know they’re not really reading all that. Marketers tend to keep their ratio fairly balanced, in a “scratch-my-back-I’ll-scratch-yours” sort of way.

photo credit: drinksmachine

Making the first move can be daunting, but sometimes it’s just as tough being on the receiving end of invites. When you add up all the people in the search, internet marketing and blogging communities, you have a pretty huge crowd. It would be impossible to listen to every voice.

Even if you wanted to. Which — let’s face it — you don’t.

I should probably channel my inner Miss America right now and say something sweet and inoffensive about how every person is beautiful and special. But let’s be honest here. You have to draw the line somewhere, and some people just don’t make the cut.

A few years ago, a bunch of single women went nuts over a self-help book titled He’s Just Not That Into You. The basic premise is this: If a guy really digs you, you’ll know it. If he doesn’t ask you out, he’s not “confused” or “intimidated.” He’s just not that into you.

You see where I’m going with this?

There are plenty of search marketing rock stars out there who don’t give me the time of day. And why should they? I’m just some schmuck who does SEO for a medical equipment store. I haven’t blogged much of value. I’ve never even been to a major search conference (although that will soon change).

If I want to be noticed, I have to do something worth noticing. With so many talented people competing for your attention online, that’s no easy task.

So the next time someone ignores you on Facebook or doesn’t answer your call for Diggs, don’t be offended. Take a hard look at yourself, and ask yourself why you’re disappearing in the crowd.

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